Deep Thoughts and a Tradgedy

I'm coming up on my 200th post. Wow. That's amazing that I have kept going this long. I keep thinking about what I could do that would be really cool and exciting, but I got nothing.

nada.

zilch.

My brain has been in this funky state for awhile. I keep trying to think of fun things to blog about, but in all honesty, I feel like you guys are getting tired of baseball and right now that seems to be all we are doing. We ended the season as Conference Champs, District Champs, Regional Champs and will be playing in the State Tournament this weekend. You know I'll have pictures coming soon!!

I guess I could talk about the fact that my baby birdie is getting ready to leave the nest. Yep..we are in our official last week of high school and it is sort of bittersweet. I am sad because I want him to be little again. I long to stop the clock. I don't want him to leave. Sometimes I feel like I won't survive when my children are gone. That they are my everything and without them I will just be bobbling along through the rest of my life without a purpose. Motherhood is a wonderful thing...yes it is..even if I have to shake the occassional desire to "run away from home".

The tears flowed last Friday as I sat at the school during a period with no students. I looked out the window at a sidewalk that Big Dan has walked a many a mile on. I visualized him coming into my room (my kids always do this when I sub), asking for money or lunch from the store because the cafeteria was serving something not so desirable. I could see him jumping on the backs of his friends, or yelling across the way at the principal making a spectacle of himself as he so often does. He's a friendly guy. A loud, silly, loving life teenager. And as hard as it may be, I know this chapter in his life....one of many...has to come to an end.

And that's not all a bad thing.

I think about how much of a burden off me it will be to not have that homework to fret over. Wondering if he really got it done because it never seemed to make it home. Or that paper, project or scrapbook that loomed over us until the night before it was due. It will be nice to not feel the need to check the locker for lost jackets and missing jeans each time I substitue. To not cringe each time my phone rings and the caller id tells me it is the high school or wonder what kind of show he put on this time whenever all the teacher wants to do is say hello. Nope, no more parent-teacher conferences that cause me an anxiety attack the entire week before and no more wondering what kind of bill I'm going to get during the summer for lost text books, or locks that somehow never made it through the year in one piece or even turned in at all.

oh, who am I kidding. I'm gonna miss it all. The good and the bad.

Time goes by so fast. I know in just a few short years, I will be processing these same thoughts with Little Ann. Cherish each moment with your children, because the days are gone before you know it.

And I've said this before, none of us have the assurance of tomorrow. Just yesterday a lady in our little community pulled right out in front of a log truck on our highway. It was awful. She passed away, and her grandson, who is a 2nd grader at our little school, is at Children's hospital in critical condition. It has been a sad day and my heart is breaking for this family. He is such an adorable little boy. I am asking for your prayers for him and his family. He and his older brother are near the ages of my nephew's. They are friends and play baseball together. It is hard for little children to understand why things like this happen sometimes.

And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to His purpose. Romans 8:28