No, today, is filled with "stuff". An already packed full calendar and a death in our church requiring me to take out even more time to prepare food and a song since the family asked me to sing at the services. Wow. That adds a little stress to my weary, stressed out, hormonal body this week. But in reality, maybe it's what I need to make me me feel a little better about myself...you know. Being able to serve someone other than self right now.
As I write, I am listening to the rolling thunder. Seems a storm is blowing in (which actually may cancel the ballgame this evening alleviating something from my calendar without adding the guilt).
The storm makes me consider my life at this moment.
I am a terrible Christian. I fill my life with nonsense. A snippy tongue for no apparent reason. (I am working on that one.) A lazy..it'll be there tomorrow attitude. Blogging and Facebook.. which takes up an extreme amount of my time. This alone is the biggest storm I am having to row through at this moment. I seem to be letting things go...and then wondering why I feel the pressure. And my relationship with God. You don't even want to know. I should be spending time with Him. In study....in prayer.
I'm dissatisfied..with myself. No one else. It's all me. I'm upset because I can't seem to get control. I'm upset because I allow things to go on inside myself that shouldn't go on. I'm upset because I won't even do my Sunday School lesson and I can think of every excuse why. Our Pastor says if we are going to be Christians, then we should be Christians.
God's been speaking to me...
And I've been running...
Why God? Don't you know there are so many more important things to do?
I'm such a hypocrite.
O Lord My God..
When I in Awesome Wonder.
Consider all..the works Thy hand have made.
I see the stars. I hear the rolling thunder.
Thy power throughout the universe displayed.
Then Sings my Soul...My Savior God to Thee.
How Great Thou Art! How Great Thou Art!
Oh Heavenly Father. Please don't give up on me. Help me get through this storm. Continue these convictions that our relationship may be restored. I love you Jesus. Amen.
5 comments:
My sweet friend, I have walked a thousand miles in your shoes. Seems like, at times, I have the ability to accomplish every single thing on my list, except finding time to get into God's word and draw closer to Him. I think we're all guilty of that to one degree or another...welcome to the game of life! I have to believe, however, that God understands and I certainly know he's forgiving...thank goodness! I try to read my Bible when I crawl into bed at night. The only problem with that is I often fall asleep in the middle of it! God knows my heart and I trust that, to Him, that's what truly matters.
"How Great Thou Art"...near and dear to my heart! It was sung at my dad's funeral and it brings tears to my eyes every time I hear it. Full of power and so very true!
I agree with April... you're not alone in feeling the way you do right now. I believe it is something that, unfortunately, we all go through from time to time.
May the rest of your day be a blessed one!
I think we can all relate to this post. Why do we always put God's word last? Good post!
Oh how i know that feeling all too well! And why, when we know what we need to be doing, is it so incredibly difficult to do??!! I will be praying for you...thank goodness we serve such a forgiving and loving God who will always be there to help us weather the storm! Prayers and Hugs to you!
I came upon this blog because I've been reading A Familiar Path for ages. I can relate to this post, as I'm sure many who love the Lord can. I've recently let go of Facebook...what a decision. God was leading me to be more private in general even though I was influencing some liberals for the good...but you know, the peace He gave was because it was from Him to pull back, and I am so happy having my life smaller again so I can focus more on things here at home. I've also nearly stopped blogging after 5 yrs. Given all that, am I reading the Bible more? Not yet...and that is sad. I do feel more calm though and focused on things here in my 'real' world. Ask the Lord what He wants 'you' to pull back from so you can refocus on Him, not that these times won't keep coming. We all go through these hard cycles and I figure we will until we are perfected! God bless you--I love how you write.
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