Seven Times Seventy

I know I'm probably not making the best of first impressions. Why can't I just get to the fun stuff like introductions and posting pictures of the hubby and precious children. I promise, I will get to that, but today I'm just not feeling it.

Once again, issues on the homefront halted the mood for luvey, duvey comments on what an adorable family I have. Don't get me wrong. I do love them. They can be adorable. I am beginning to wonder if my own crankiness as of late is rubbing my tolerance thin.

Just so you know, when I refer to my own crankiness, it's not what my bad moods normally get blamed on...usually pms. I absolutely hate it when every time I cry or yell my family automatically "assumes" it is my time of the month? uh, whatever!
Can I please just cry or yell for the sake of crying or yelling?

Trust me, it's not pms, but sometimes, I let myself fall into a "mood". An inexplainable one where I just want to feel sorry for myself. I just want to run away back to the days when I had no one to be accountable to but myself (so I thought anyway), back to the days of my youth when I let myself fall into some temptations that I'm not sure I have ever fully forgiven myself for.

And...that brings me to the next part of my post. Forgiveness. Yes, Big Dan "thrives" on making Little Ann scream. Anything he can do to irritate her, he does. Why he's the first born, more deserving than she. He never ceases to rub it in that he is "almost 18" and has way more rights than she does.

It's Sunday. I don't know why I am surprised at all the discontent. Satan works overtime at my house on Sundays, so I should've expected a knock down, drag out between Big Dan and Little Ann, or Big Dan and myself, or all of us for that matter. Hubby lucks out and misses most of the drama because he has a job that keeps him away from home most of the time.

I won't bore you with the details of what occurred between Big Dan and Little Ann, but I do know that it had hit it's all time high today. Little Ann got so angry she let the "h" word slip. Gasp! Something to do with hate. I don't know about you, but I just can't stand that word and it didn't go over too well, not with me or her brother. Big Dan was devastated. I couldn't believe it affected him that way. I couldn't tell if he was more hurt or angry or a little of both, but he was definitely affected by it. I didn't know he cared so much.

Tonight we had a family meeting on forgiveness and if I may, I would like share. This is really all coming to light to me because just last Sunday, our guest preacher, talked of this very thing. And..just this week, I have felt a little down regarding things that I have done in my past.

Who is to be forgiven? Forgiveness isn't just about forgiving one another, but ourselves as well.

Why should we be willing to forgive?
Mark 11:25,26 - And when ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have aught against any; that your Father also which is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses. GET THIS PART...But if ye do not forgive, neither will your Father which is in heaven forgive your trespasses. Well, That's scary. But, this is the hard part..what if they aren't sincere? Big Dan assumes Little Ann asks forgiveness to get out of trouble..and maybe you aren't sure of the motives of your oppressor either, were they sincere enough for you..did they show enough emotion to suit you...was it for real? I know. Sometimes I wonder these same things. I say leave that for God to judge.

And finally, how many times should we forgive one another (or ourselves)?
Matthew 18:22 - Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven. Wow, that's alot of times. Does that mean every time we are wronged? I do believe so. Even by the same person? Yep! Even when we do things that dissapoint ourselves? While this is the biggie for me, I do think we owe ourselves the same. Humm...maybe I should take my own advice and get on with it already.

Hopefully we can all forgive one another (and ourselves), for tomorrow is a new day!